The time change reminds me of what I already know: winter can be difficult for those of us who are sensitive to light, change, vibrations, or the holidays. I felt the darkness closing in on me a few times today despite the sun shining brightly outside. I consistently felt like I was running behind because the sun dictates so much of my day. Is it time to eat lunch? I look at the sun. Is it time to get my children from school? I look at the sun (and the clock).
Fall brings such beauty with the leaves changing color and the weather dipping into more comfortable temperatures, but it also opens the doorway to winter. Winter is a time of quiet and of rest, but I still associate sadness with the silence. I feel the weight of snow on my heart even though I don’t live in the Midwest any longer. It is hard to shake the darkness that comes so early, but I have decided to allow this winter to be what it is. I have decided to make peace with this little bit of sadness. I am using this time to nestle in and to burrow down into what is. God is here. God knows. God hears what my heart cannot utter, so I choose to sit with this silence and to listen.